She Didn’t Remember: Concussed Chronicles of My Wife

Hey everyone, Daniel here.

I haven’t had the time to put some thoughts on paper here for you all–getting married and moving to another country have a way of taking up your time. At the moment, we’re spending time with Ryan’s relatives and getting final details put together for what’s left of our time here in the States.

Anyhow, it’s time that I related to you my side of the Concussed Chronicles…

About two and a half weeks ago, we were spending our time with my parents, getting out into the local wilderness around my grandma’s house with some ATV’s (that’s four wheelers for those who don’t know).

Before we left, the first thing that came out of my mother’s mouth was: “Nobody do anything crazy.” This wasn’t an unusal warning from my mom, but for us, it definitely had some special meaning considering the plans we have. Now I’ll admit, I was conscious of this warning for every bit of five minutes as we got out into the dirt and the weeds. I saw the many dirt paths and hills and I was ready to get out there and have some fun, and after a brief skills recover period (it’s been a while since I  was on one of these things), I said to myself, “Self, lets take a jump.”

Not very smart on my part, but so much fun. Did a couple more, in fact. But, that’s about the time I recovered the thought, “Hmm, maybe i shouldn’t be doing this right now.”

We had our ATV’s screaming down the dunes and around every path we could find, most of which we didn’t really know that well. That’s when we came across a circuit that we had already been to last year, just about the last time that went out riding. Ryan took off down the well-worn path and I was behind her by a turn and a half; she was maybe 100ft ahead of me. She rounded the second turn ahead of me and was out of my field of vision for 5 seconds.

5 seconds was all it took.

I rounded the turn and looked ahead of the next turn in an effort to spot where Ryan was ahead of me, but what I saw sent shocks through my mind as I began a new race; a race to see if she was alright. It’s not easy seeing your beloved flying spread eagle, upside down through the air, away from her bike and skittering across the ground like a stone on a pond. I can still see her shoes flying away from her in two different directions from initial impact. I was there as fast as it happened, hands grabbing her, checking every inch, praying furiously in my mind that she was ok. Naturally, she was panicked, telling me that she was scared and wanted me to just hold her, which I gladly did, still applying pressure here and there and making sure there wasn’t anything broken. That was when I got the scare of a lifetime.

Questions. An abundance of questions, sweeping out of her like a flood, things she wanted to know, things she either was to afraid to recall or wasn’t able to remember.

“What day was it?” “Where are we?” “Where do I work?” “Where do we live?”

It was frightening beyond belief. My parents arrived in moments that had stretched to days. I could only sit and comfort her, reassure her over and over again, answering question after question as calmly as I could while fighting of fits of relieved laughter, an innapropriate response to the severe fright I had just gone through.

The hospital ride in the truck wasn’t any better, months of our lives together swept away unde the cover of concussive force.

“Are we married?”

“Do THEY know(Parents)?” “Where do we live?” “We’re going to Japan?!”

Some answers were comforting for her (yes, we’re married), and some shocking (no, I don’t have a job yet for moving to Japan–shouldn’t have said that one seen as it resulted in her bursting out in tears and freaking out…for all of 5 seconds). But all of the questions were ceaselessly repeated.

The doctors asked her upon entering the emergency care who the president was and she answered Obama. Had she really lost nearly 6 months of information, experiences, life? My heart dropped like a rock.

They hurried her in and stared doing tests, getting x-rays, ct scan, blood and pee samples, all the necessaries to find out just how hard she got hit. It was like pulling teeth to get anything done quickly. We were there for hours, all of which were filled with the same stream of questions. Over. And over. And over.

I had a few moments there, standing at her bed side, waiting in the halls, helping her to do menial tasks, and telling her the answer to a question she asked just moments before, where I thought, “What if she doesn’t remember?”

What if she doesn’t remember me proposing to her on the side of the mountain during the first snowstorm of the year? What if she doesn’t remember our special day where we joined our lives together forever? What if she forgets everything I say from here on out after 5 seconds and asks the same questions again for the rest of our lives?

Now as extreme as that might sound, concussions can cause just such extreme memory losses, and even worse, there could be seizures and internal bleeding on top of the memory loss. I was just about as scared as I have ever been, down right terrified.

Thank God, for God.

After being there in the hospital for 5 hours, she was finally starting to get the answers right. Obama’s not president, we got our marriage certificate and we’re having a family ceremony soon, our brother-in-law is taking pictures, and yes, we’re going to Osaka, Japan.

Thanking Jesus for the strength to keep going and for protecting her from what really could have been a horrendous accident, we walked out of the hospital and drove home with just some painkillers and a bunch of paperwork to prove our story (ignoring the obvious bruises and scrapes).

The next morning when she woke up next to me, I cried. I was just so happy to see her. It’s honestly been tough since then. The recovery has been slow (she doesn’t much care for bed rest, even though she needs it) and she naps pretty heavy–if she lets herself–but two weeks later, and she’s back. The bruises are fading, the scrapes are nearly gone, and she’s got an evil headache that doesn’t want to leave. That’s more than enough excitement for me and I’m glad to have her in one whole, unbroken piece. She’s in great spirits though, and excited to go. To get to Japan and see what God’s got in store, see what our adventure will lead us to.

Forever thankful for God’s love and protection over us. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Much love my firends and family,
Banzai!

 

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